Dr. Kela on Raising Confident Young Women in an Age of Anxiety, Social Media and Information Overload

For today’s young women, growing up means navigating pressures that can be difficult to see from the outside. Anxiety, social media, cyberbullying, academic expectations, peer pressure and family dynamics can create a heavy emotional load during years when girls are still figuring out who they are and what they want from their lives.

Dr. Kela, an award-winning author, family physician, speaker and mentor, believes one of the most important things young women need from the adults around them is something that can be overlooked: emotional support. Through her work with patients, her books and the platforms she has created for girls and women to speak openly, she has seen firsthand how much young people benefit from having trusted adults who listen without immediately judging or lecturing.

In her conversation with The Inscriber Magazine, Dr. Kela discusses the concerns she hears most often from teenage girls, including mental health struggles and the effects of social media on self-esteem. She also shares practical advice for parents who want to have more open conversations with their daughters about their bodies, sex, relationships and difficult subjects, emphasizing the importance of starting early, being honest and listening more than talking.

Dr. Kela also reflects on what her patients have taught her about the pressures facing young people today and why creating spaces for connection can be so meaningful in an increasingly isolated world. And when it comes to preparing teenage girls for adulthood, her advice extends beyond traditional lessons: trust your gut, push yourself beyond your comfort zone, question what you have been told not to question and learn financial literacy early.

Here, Dr. Kela shares her perspective on what young women need most, how parents can build trust with their daughters and the lessons she hopes every girl carries with her into adulthood.

What do you think young women need most from the adults in their lives that they may not always be getting?  They need emotional support, and unfortunately many parents and close extended family members do not necessarily know what that means.  There are still remnants of the archaic mindset that all children need is “a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and clothes on their backs.”  That may have been the case in the pioneer days of American history, but we live in a technologically advanced, rapidly changing, fast paced world now.  Certain mindsets are no longer adequate for raising intelligent, productive, neurologically balanced,  well rounded young women.

When you talk with teenage girls, what are some of the concerns or questions that come up again and again?

I would say the recurrent concerns are the following: (1) mental health struggles like depression and anxiety, and (2) the negative impacts of social media: cyberbullying and damage to their self-esteem.  These girls want help because they need guidance about what to do and how to handle their doubts and fears.

How can parents make difficult conversations with their daughters feel less like lectures and more like honest conversations? I recommend that parents embrace honesty and vulnerability when approaching these discussions with their daughters about uncomfortable topics like their bodies, sex, contraception, and the like.  I suggest three tips:

1. Start Early—and Keep It Going

Don’t wait for your daughter to ask questions or get her period to start the conversation. Use teachable moments like a commercial, a book, a scene in a show as gentle openers. Normalize talking about the body and feelings before it becomes awkward. Think of these talks not as a one-time event but as a series of age-appropriate conversations over time about sex, reproduction, and the consequences.

2. Be Honest, Even When It’s Uncomfortable

It’s okay not to have all the answers. In fact, admitting what you didn’t learn growing up—or what you wish you had known—can be powerful. It shows vulnerability and invites trust. Instead of focusing on what not to do, center the conversation on values: respect, responsibility, and healthy relationships.

3. Listen More Than You Talk

The goal is not to lecture—it’s to connect. Ask open-ended questions. Reflect back what you hear. Stay curious, not judgmental. Your daughter may surprise you with how much she already knows—or how much she’s been waiting to say. Create a judgment-free space where she feels seen and heard, even if you disagree.

What have your patients taught you about the pressures young people are experiencing today?

I learned from my patients that young people are facing a heavy mental load. They are struggling with a host of issues: feelings of isolation, addiction to screens (whether video games or various devices), anxiety due to repetitive incidents of school violence, and the typical teen angst of navigating grades, peer pressure, crushes, pleasing their parents, and family dynamics.

You have created several platforms to give girls and women a space to talk openly.  What have you learned from giving them that space?  I learned that they need even more space and that maintaining the girls’ attention can be a challenge.  Information overload is real but so is isolation.  Platforms that allow girls and women who feel alone to connect with those who either are experiencing or have experienced what they are currently feeling can be such a relief and a revelation at the same time. The exchange of ideas, comfort, and support are like virtual hugs that can make a substantive difference in someone’s life at the right moment.

If you could give every teenage girl one piece of advice before she enters adulthood, what would you tell her?

Perhaps this is cheating, but my piece of advice is actually four pieces of advice rolled into one.  Here it is:

1. trust your gut
2. take action, even when you are scared to try something new outside your comfort zone (performing a song or reciting poetry publicly, tasting a different cuisine, or visiting a new place, for example)
3. question what you were told not to question
4. learn financial literacy while you are young; don’t wait

Dr. Kela is an award-winning author, (Nia & The Numbers Game, A Teenager’s Guide to Education Relationships & Sex) speaker, family physician, and mentor dedicated to inspiring resilience, growth, and possibility. Through her writing and public engagement, she encourages people to live with purpose and courage. Explore books, merchandise, and more at the DrKela.com