The True Cost of Divorce in America: A Full Picture of the Emotional and Financial Fallout
Divorce in America carries an emotional weight that is widely understood, but the financial cost is far more extensive than many people anticipate. While attorney fees and court costs are well-known factors, they represent only a portion of the real economic burden. A full assessment reveals significant ripple effects across housing, childcare, health care, taxes, counseling, and even the cost of re-entering the dating world.
This analysis by Dellino Family Law Group provides a comprehensive look at the true cost of divorce in the United States, using national data and insights into the financial and social factors that shape modern separation.
Divorce in the United States: Key Trends
January has long been identified as “Divorce Month,” with many couples choosing to begin proceedings after holiday tensions peak. Approximately 40% of marriages today end in divorce, with the average marriage lasting 19.9 years.
Divorce among older adults has surged in recent decades. The divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled since 1990 and tripled since 1960, driven by increased life expectancy, the prevalence of second and third marriages, and greater financial independence among women.
Despite these changes, the overall U.S. divorce rate has steadily declined, falling from 4 divorces per 1,000 people in 2000 to 2.4 per 1,000 people in 2023.
State-level data reflects substantial variation:
Nevada recorded the highest divorce rate in 2023 at 3.8 per 1,000 people.
Wyoming and Idaho followed at 3.4.
Louisiana saw the lowest rate at 0.9 per 1,000 people, with Illinois at 1.2.
Washington State came in slightly above the national average at 2.7.
These figures highlight how often divorce occurs across the country — but not how much it costs.
The Average Cost of Divorce in America
The national average cost of divorce is $9,970, though the actual cost depends heavily on the complexity of the case. An uncontested divorce costs an average of $4,100, while divorces that go to trial for multiple issues can exceed $23,300.
Key cost indicators include:
The average hourly rate for a divorce attorney: $270
The average total attorney cost: $11,300
Divorces involving children: $15,500 on average
Divorces involving alimony: $15,900 on average
The ten most expensive states for divorce are:
California – $14,435
New York – $13,835
Texas – $12,792
Connecticut – $12,360
New Jersey – $12,300
Massachusetts – $12,200
Delaware – $12,165
Virginia – $11,584
Georgia – $11,400
Colorado – $11,230
While these figures reflect the basic legal process, they do not account for the many additional financial burdens people face during and after divorce.
Hidden Financial Burdens People Don’t Expect
Many individuals underestimate the secondary financial strains associated with divorce. Common post-divorce expenses include:
Court-ordered counseling such as co-parenting therapy, typically $100–$250 per session
Moving costs ranging from $500–$800 for DIY moves to $10,000 for full-service movers
Home refinancing fees including applications, appraisals, underwriting, and closing costs
Higher taxes when couples can no longer file jointly
Independent health care costs if coverage was previously shared
Additional childcare expenses that may not have existed during the marriage
Any combination of these factors can significantly increase the overall cost of divorce.
The Cost of Post-Divorce Dating
For many people, divorce marks the beginning of a new chapter — including the possibility of dating again. About 32% of U.S. singles use online dating, and one in ten partnered adults met their current partner through a dating platform.
However, dating introduces its own financial demands:
Average dating cost: $213 per month
Paid app fees average around $19 per month
Hinge+ costs around $100 for six months
The League costs around $400 for three months
Men typically spend more on dating than women:
Men spend an average of $97 per month on in-person dates, compared to $40 for women.
Men spend more on clothing, grooming, and finding dates, while women spend slightly less in each category.
Despite the cost, dating apps collectively generate about $2.6 billion a year, reflecting their continued popularity among divorced adults.
Why Couples Divorce: The Most Common Reasons
CDC interviews with divorced individuals identify eight primary reasons for marital breakdown:
Incompatibility (65%)
Infidelity (60%)
Constant conflict (57.7%)
Financial problems (45%)
Unrealistic expectations (40%)
Addiction (34.6%)
Domestic violence (23.5%)
Health problems or weight gain (18.2%)
While these factors apply broadly, individual divorces vary widely depending on circumstances, assets, and the level of conflict involved.
Income Levels and Divorce Rates
Income plays a significant role in divorce trends:
46% of couples living below the poverty line divorce.
Divorce rates remain around 40% until household income reaches $200,000.
Between $200,000 and $600,000, divorce rates drop to 25%.
Above $600,000, divorce rates rise again to 30%.
Economic stress and lifestyle differences both contribute to these patterns.
The Full Financial Picture
Even after the divorce is finalized, the financial burden continues for many people. Individuals may face:
Co-parenting counseling
Housing transitions
Childcare costs
Health care expenses
Tax changes
Home refinancing
Women, on average, are disproportionately affected, often experiencing greater career disruptions and financial setbacks due to caregiving responsibilities.
On top of these obligations, the cost of dating and rebuilding a new social life can add hundreds of dollars per month.
Divorce is often complicated, drawn-out, and expensive. The total financial impact depends on a wide range of personal, legal, and economic factors — including the degree of conflict, the number of disputed issues, and the state in which the divorce takes place.
